Turner Mediation News & Information

June Newsletter

2009-06-15T12:23:00.000-07:00

Making Summer of 2009 a Memorable One !
Summer of 2009 is sure to pose many challenges for families in Houston’s Bay Area. For many of us in the Bay Area there are still reminders in our home of the damages form Hurricane Ike . We all have a bit of stress about Hurricane season. The emotional, physical and financial reminders are still looming . Children are aware of those reminders as well. As school ends, so does the consistency of routines and the daily disciplines that come with schedules. Be aware that without a focus, such as school, children will be looking to fill their time and expend extra energy. Combined with the fact that we are all preparing for the new hurricane season and dealing with an unpredictable economy, stress levels for everyone may increase as the summer progresses. Here are some tools that may be helpful:

Reevaluate resources this summer: It may not be possible to have the same kind of vacation that your family has enjoyed in past years. Include children in planning time together this summer. Perhaps a trip is not in the budget. “Stay-cations” are all the rage this year and we live in an area that a lot of great resources. Free concerts, story times, the ocean and free museum days are just a few options to take advantage of. Start a new family tradition. The most important factor is to ensure that children have time with the important adults in their lives. They may ask for lots of “ things” , but time together is what they will remember.

Keep the lines of communication open. Even though we are 9 months post Ike, some family members still need to talk about experiences of Hurricane Ike. Many children remain concerned about how their life and their world was impacted. With the end of school schedules, those voids may be more obvious to children. They may not understand that resources that were available last summer are not available this summer. If a child’s need to talk overwhelms an adult’s ability to hear, seek help from a skilled professional.

Make expectations clear to children. Despite the lack of a school schedule, a family routine can still provide structure. What do parents expect children to do during the day? Are there chores? Day Care? Camps? Hobbies? For example, if left to their own devises most teens will sleep til noon, eat and play video games till parents return home. If that is not ok, share your ideas with your child before he/she has the opportunity to disappoint your unstated expectations.
Take advantage of flexible work days. Every employer is aware that employees with children face challenges in the summers. That is not to say that employers should expect less from you, but perhaps calls to check in on children, an occasional lunch with them or flex time may be an option for part of the summer. It does not hurt to ask.

It is not a betrayal of your child to have fun while they are not in the home. For many divorced families summer means loss of a child in the home. Be aware of how that loss may be affecting you. Plan time to do thinks that you would not be able to do with a child in your home. Allowing yourself time to relax, enjoy and care for yourself in the absence of your child can prove to be very energizing for your relationship with your child.

Don’t play the game of “Spoil the Child” or “My child Loves Me More” It is in your child’s best interest to have two consistent loving parents. Especially in divorced families, parents play these games in an effort to make up for lost time. It is difficult to have children for short periods of time and the temptation is to spoil them in the summer and on weekend visits. Children need consistency, routine and parents that are focused on meeting the child’s needs, not the parent’s needs.

Summer provides the opportunity to break out of a routine and re-energize your family. Enjoy it!

May Newsletter.

2009-05-21T14:53:00.000-07:00

Getting Ready For Summer Post Divorce

Summers are generally hectic for families. Add the changes of a newly divorced or separated family and the issues are multiplied. Here are a couple of issues that should be addressed prior to school dismissal:

Be aware of the school calendar.
Half days and the beginning of vacation add to the cost of caring for a child both emotionally and financially.

Clarify intentions regarding summer possession.
In the absence of an agreement, many divorce decrees require parents to notify each other in writing of their intention regarding summer visits with their children.
Be mindful of children’s social calendars. It is best if parents are able to discuss plans together with their children, especially pre-teens and teens. Is your child involved in summer sports? Driving lessons? Camp? Hidden costs, as well as stress can be reduced through clear communication.

Ease the Transition to the “Summer Home”. When non-custodial parents have extended visitation with children, it often is stress provoking and uncomfortable. Spending a weekend at a parent’s home is much different than moving in for the summer. What items and routines can be consistent between the homes that will help your child to feel more in control of their environment? Predictability and familiarity aid children in having control over their environment and lessen stress which is beneficial for all involved.

Communicate about the children’s physical location. You may believe that it is none of your ex’s business, but nonetheless communicating with your ex about the location of the children is in their best interest. For example if you camp in an area where cell phone coverage is minimal, telling the other ex about the e potential problem elevates speculation about being denied phone access while the child is camping. The fact of the matter is, you would want the same courtesy of being informed about your child's whereabouts.

The bottom line is: Focusing on your children’ s best interest and not on the parents past offenses puts most co-parenting issues in a perspective that benefits all family members.

Children First Classes

2009-01-30T12:41:00.000-08:00

Children First Class Schedule
Children 1st Class Schedule
February 2009 – July 2009

February 2009
Thursday the 5th____ 4:00PM- 8:30PM
Sunday the 22nd____ 5:00PM- 9:30PM
March 2009
Thursday the 5th___ _4:00PM – 8:30PM
Saturday the 21st____8:30AM-1:00PM
April 2009
Monday the 6th ____ _ 5:00PM –9:30PM
Sunday the 19th —- 5:00PM-9:30PM
May 2009
Thursday the 7th____ 4:00PM- 8:30PM
Monday the 18th____ 5:00PM- 9:30PM
June 2009
Thursday the 4th____ 4:00PM -8:30PM
Sunday the 28th____ _5:00PM- 9:30PM
July 2009
Monday the13th—––5:00PM-9:30PM
Saturday the 25th --–8:30AM-1:00PM

Additional classes may be added
based on need.