May Newsletter.

Getting Ready For Summer Post Divorce

Summers are generally hectic for families. Add the changes of a newly divorced or separated family and the issues are multiplied. Here are a couple of issues that should be addressed prior to school dismissal:

Be aware of the school calendar.
Half days and the beginning of vacation add to the cost of caring for a child both emotionally and financially.

Clarify intentions regarding summer possession.
In the absence of an agreement, many divorce decrees require parents to notify each other in writing of their intention regarding summer visits with their children.
Be mindful of children’s social calendars. It is best if parents are able to discuss plans together with their children, especially pre-teens and teens. Is your child involved in summer sports? Driving lessons? Camp? Hidden costs, as well as stress can be reduced through clear communication.


Ease the Transition to the “Summer Home”. When non-custodial parents have extended visitation with children, it often is stress provoking and uncomfortable. Spending a weekend at a parent’s home is much different than moving in for the summer. What items and routines can be consistent between the homes that will help your child to feel more in control of their environment? Predictability and familiarity aid children in having control over their environment and lessen stress which is beneficial for all involved.

Communicate about the children’s physical location. You may believe that it is none of your ex’s business, but nonetheless communicating with your ex about the location of the children is in their best interest. For example if you camp in an area where cell phone coverage is minimal, telling the other ex about the e potential problem elevates speculation about being denied phone access while the child is camping. The fact of the matter is, you would want the same courtesy of being informed about your child's whereabouts.


The bottom line is: Focusing on your children’ s best interest and not on the parents past offenses puts most co-parenting issues in a perspective that benefits all family members.